Long-time music educator Kathy Backherms could not have composed a better coda to her cherished sister’s life than the magical moment she met NC State veterinary student Isla Farrow.

First, the prelude. 

Mary Frances Backherms was 8 years older than Kathy and had spent her childhood bandaging stuffed animals, caring for birds, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, bunnies and dogs and bringing home the imperfect pet store animals that no one else seemed to want.

When Mary Frances was accepted into veterinary school, Backherms was sad but excited to see her big sis soar away toward her dream — and then sad and confused when she returned home from college less than a week later.

It was the mid-1960s, and Kathy didn’t understand when Mary Frances said that the four or five women in her veterinary class had been told they should give their seats to men because the presumption was they would marry and drop out or not use their degrees anyway.

“I didn’t really realize it until I was getting to the end of my career, but it really had a tremendous effect on her life, because all she wanted to be was a vet her entire life,” Backherms says. “That’s all she wanted to be.”

Mary Frances went on to get a biology degree with a minor in chemistry and taught science to high school girls in Ohio before becoming a chemist in a lab. In 2021, after a decade of fighting cancer, she had a stroke on Christmas Day and died a few days later at age 74. Her obituary asked for donations to animal rescue organizations.

When Kathy Backherms began planning her retirement from decades spent teaching music at an all-girls school, she realized that she deeply wanted to honor her sister’s memory — and to help others live the dream Mary Frances had been denied.

‘NC State was perfect’

The new Mary Frances Backherms Memorial Scholarship Endowment has now paid out its first scholarship to a student at the NC State College of Veterinary Medicine. Backherms has no ties to NC State but chose the veterinary college after researching the nation’s 30-plus schools.

“There was this genuine, ‘Our students are the most important thing,’” Backherms says about NC State’s online vibe. “As a teacher, people told me, ‘You can go home before seven o’clock. You don’t have to stay and talk to every student at the end of the day,’ and that’s what came through. I thought, ‘That’s what my sister didn’t have, and it’s exactly the type of place where she would have thrived.’ So I thought NC State was perfect.” 

Cue the crescendo. 

Isla Farrow is a Greenville, North Carolina, native who graduated with her DVM on Friday. Isla is everything Kathy Backherms had in mind — and more — when she dared picture the person the Mary Frances scholarship might help. 

The women met each other after Backherms flew from Ohio to North Carolina for the college’s Annual Scholarship Dinner, which brings together donors and scholarship recipients to celebrate one another. 

They sat and talked for more than an hour, with the tears flowing down and the “wows” adding up. 

Farrow is the daughter of educators. Her father is an associate superintendent of Nash-Rocky Mount Schools in North Carolina, and her mother a retired special education teacher. Just like Mary Frances, Isla grew up wanting to be a veterinarian.

“My dad is one of my biggest influencers of me getting to this point in life and pushing me and knowing the importance of education and being a strong woman,” Farrow says minutes after meeting Backherms. “He’s pushed those things into me.”

The woman in Backherms was thrilled.

“I love that strong woman part,” she says. “I taught girls my whole life. Young women are so smart and warm and just want to change the world. And I know you can.”

Farrow breaks in: “I can. I will.”

When Farrow asks Backherms about her life, the teacher talks of sharing her love of music, composing her own songs, playing the piano, guitar and violin, some of them better than others.

“I grew up playing the trumpet,” Farrow says, prompting Backherms to exclaim, “Trumpet players were my favorite kids!” 

The musician in Backherms was thrilled.

Chatter about Farrow’s deep roots in Eastern North Carolina sparks Backherms to remember her family used to vacation on the Outer Banks, most often Nags Head and Ocracoke. 

“That’s the beach I grew up going to! I’m from that side of the state,” Farrow says. Backherms says, “Wow.”

When stories and photos of beloved pets are inevitably exchanged, Backherms talks of missing her cat Nicholas and adoring her new rescue, Abigail, who is still warming up to her. Farrow says she had dogs growing up but now has a bunny, Cocoa Puff, she rescued from a Durham shelter. 

“You’re not going to believe this,” Backherms says. “The last pet my sister had was a bunny, a dwarf. Her name was Lulu, and Lulu was a lulu.”

It’s Farrow’s turn to say, “Wow.”

‘My sister would have loved you’

Backherms mentions how much she admired Mary Frances for pushing through disappointment to pursue being a scientist, a naturalist and an ecologist. Farrow says her journey has included struggle as well. 

“It’s been ups and downs, but I never quit, and I know I’ve done my part,” Farrow says. “I came in and did everything I said I wanted to do since I’ve been here, and I have no regrets. Even with all the failures, all the twists and turns, I wouldn’t do anything differently.”

The sister in Backherms was thrilled. “That’s so awesome,” she says. “My sister would have loved you.”

Farrow is now headed to the Virginia-Maryland College of Veterinary Medicine, where she has matched into a small animal rotating internship. Next, she hopes to complete a residency in anesthesia and become one of the handful of Black veterinary anesthesiologists in the world. Although the majority of veterinarians are now women, fewer than 3% overall are Black.

The educator in Backherms was thrilled she had big plans.

Backherms says she sometimes wonders what Mary Frances, who was humble and quiet, would think about a scholarship created in her name but then looks at Farrow and says, “She would love this. She would absolutely love it. This is perfect.”

In creating the scholarship at NC State, Backherms wrote: 

“Mary Frances would have been a wonderful veterinarian. She would not wish for those who share her love of animals, and the desire to help them, to experience any discouragement from pursuing their veterinary degree as she did. This scholarship in the College of Veterinary Medicine has therefore been established in her memory.”

Mary Frances had a life that, thanks to her sister, will have not only the story of Isla Farrow as a coda but also the stories of countless NC State veterinary students to come.

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If you’re interested in learning more about how to create scholarships for our veterinary students, please contact the Office of Philanthropy at [email protected].